How To Choose A Counselor Or Therapist

Here are 5 tips to keep in mind when choosing a counselor or a therapist:

• Find a counselor who can understand you and your needs: It is important that you find a counselor who can listen well and understand what it is that you are trying to convey.  Is the counselor asking enough questions?  Is the counselor asking the right questions?  If you feel like you are being misunderstood, then you might consider trying to find another counselor.   
• Find a counselor that will challenge you: One of the reasons counseling can be so effective is because it can make you look at your life more realistically.  If you have low self-esteem, a good counselor will challenge you to improve your self-image and not just flatter you in an attempt to boost your self-esteem artificially.  An effective counselor will be more proactive by giving you tasks and assignments to help you improve your situation.  If you feel like you are not being challenged, then maybe it is time to find another counselor.   
• Find a counselor that you can trust and connect with: It is imperative to find a counselor with whom you feel connected and with whom you feel safe.  One of the goals in counseling should be to intentionally let yourself feel vulnerable to the counselor.  While that might seem frightening, it an important step that promotes growth from learning that you can put your trust in someone without becoming devastated by the aftermath.  Enabling yourself to feel vulnerable means that you must have some feelings of safety and trust in the counselor. 
• Find a counselor that will accept your true identity: The only way that you can feel safe disclosing personal information to a counselor is to know that the counselor is not passing judgment on you.  No matter how ridiculous or repulsive you may think your thoughts or feelings are, it is the job of the counselor to accept you for who you are and not to dispense judgments or preconceptions.
• Finding the appropriate counselor may take patience and persistence: If you are interested in making progress in your treatment, then rule number one is not to settle for a counselor that you feel will not be able to help you to your fullest extent.  Just like any other profession, there are good and bad counselors in the field.  Several research studies have shown that the theoretical approach or even the credentials of a counselor or therapist do not matter as much as the relationship that is developed between the counselor and the client.  This analogy may illustrate the point better; it is possible to walk several miles in a pair of shoes that do not fit or that are uncomfortable.  However, walking several miles in the right pair of shoes will most likely get you there faster and make the whole experience more enjoyable along the way.